Hell hath no fury
by kikibouba
Summary: When Sakura's rage explodes into violence, there is only one man turn to, but he's never much help to begin with.


It's been a while, sadly, but I've had this one-shot sitting in my folder for a while because I didn't know if I wanted to elaborate more or what, but I felt like posting and I didn't want to wait any longer so wth, I'll just post it. Anyways, I hope you readers like this one. I do have a sequel in mind for this, but it'll take me a while to crank it out. =)

Also, reviews (especially structurally critical reviews) are always welcome.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters.

* * *

BAM! Sakura walked away from the dust-filled crater she'd created with a twitching eyebrow and grim smile. As she passed, all other observers parted before her, awed and intimidated by her strength. No one expected any survivors.

Then they heard rubble tumble as a hand burst through the ground. A body emerged from the center of the massive hole, presenting a starry-eyed Naruto. Sporting a massive bump on his head and many loose teeth, he stumbled out of the crater to the nearest person.

"I honestly have no clue what I've done to make her so mad, Kakashi," Naruto whined, tears streaming down his face.

Without looking up from his book, Kakashi chuckled at his ex-student's expense. "You really don't remember the time you invited her to lunch at Ichiraku's, then abandoned her the moment Hinata walked by?"

"What?! When was that?!" Naruto scratched his head and squinted his eyes as he put on his tortured, concentrated expression.

"It happened an hour ago," Kakashi stated blankly, uncertain whether or not Naruto was just playing dumb to seem innocent.

It took a while for Naruto to recall the memory, but when he did, he jumped in wild excitement. Arms flailing and knocking Kakashi's book out of his hand, Naruto shouted, "Kaka-sensei! Are you telling me that Sakura is jealous? What do I do! I mean, I did used to like her, but now I like Hinata. But Sakura's my best friend! Kaka-senseiiiiiiii … " His rambling transformed into one drawn-out syllable.

Kakashi chuckled again, slightly embarrassed that Konoha's brightest beacon of hope was actually so very dull. "Naruto, she's more angry about the fact that you left her with the bill, especially since the majority of it belonged to you. You had ten bowls of ramen, she said? To her one bowl, I'm guessing?"

The hyper-active blond dropped to the ground as his blood, which was burning with fiery youth before, suddenly turned to lead. 'Oh yeah,' he thought, and that meal was supposed to be his way of apologizing for all the times he'd left her with the bill in the past.

Sheepishly, he smiled at Kakashi and rubbed the back of his head. "I'm in deep shit now, huh?"

Kakashi grinned benevolently. "Yes, you are."

* * *

"ARGGHH!!" Sakura shouted passionately while she sent a great oak tree sailing through the forest. Then she stalked away in a flurry of pink and anger.

Sai watched her, puzzled. "Perhaps I missed something, but none of this adds up to anything my research has told me." Flipping through his books, Sai continued to voice his confusion. "I've gone through everything I could have done to make her so angry the past two days, but surprisingly, I've done nothing."

He glanced around to check if Sakura was in hearing range before whispering to Kakashi and Naruto, "It's not even her time of the month!"

Naruto, who had already come to the conclusion that Sakura's irrational behavior was the result of PMS, dropped his jaw in shock. Then he started ticking the days off on his fingers before he incredulously nodded his agreement.

Impressed with their comprehensive knowledge of Sakura's menstrual cycle (although it was understandable that they would memorize the times when they should make themselves most scarce), Kakashi put away his book and looked at Sai intently.

"Perhaps it's because she snuck a peek at some of your drawings when you weren't looking and discovered your interpretation of her: 'a large square forehead on top of man shoulders on top of unstable twig legs.'"

Sai quickly pulled his drawing book out of his bag and discovered that, indeed, Sakura had "edited" his art. The hair was colored black, the eyes squintier, and there was a small dot placed at the apex of the thighs. Next to the image in very large font, Sakura wrote: "This looks more like you than me!" Scandalized, Sai stared at his violated personal property.

Naruto shouted with laughter before looking critically at Sai's handiwork. "You know, Sakura looks nothing like that! Her thighs are actually a lot bigger, especially when she sits down!"

In a flash, Naruto was replaced by a raging Sakura. The fire in her eyes combined with her foot that ground Naruto's face even further into the dirt made her look demented. Naruto gurgled.

"Sakura, I think Naruto is apologizing, perhaps you should let up your foot," Kakashi suggested. Sakura blew smoke out of her nostrils like a demon, turned around, and stalked away again.

* * *

Days after that incident, Naruto returned from an overnight reconnaissance mission. When he burst through "baa-chan's" windows in rare punctuality to obnoxiously throw his messy mission report on her desk, Tsunade just handed it to Sakura, dismissing her and immediately turning her attention to Naruto. This may have been routine for Tsunade, but Sakura, already short-tempered when it came to Naruto, had been on the verge of revealing an exciting new discovery about Sharingan neurons and ….

"How do you know all this?" Tsunade interrupted Kakashi, who felt obliged to speak up when Sakura slammed the door hard enough to crumble the wall around the frame and cause a miniature earthquake in the building.

The question caught Naruto and Sai's attention. "Yeah…yeah! That's true, you always know why she's mad at us!"

Sighing, Kakashi replied, "When she makes me dinner, I have to sit and listen to her talk about her day, and she only remembers the things that piss her off."

Only Naruto nodded in understanding. Tsunade narrowed her eyes and asked quizzically, "Kakashi, why is Sakura making you dinner?"

* * *

Hmm... Was that an abrupt ending? =) well it keeps the story open for me.


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